I made it to the new year, the Spring Equinox. It was yesterday on the 21st. Now everything is made new, made fresh. I’m struggling with this new start. I feel the returning of spring, the return of life waking up. Not only outside, but in my bones. It’s pushing away the silence and darkness of winter that lies there. Forcing me to face it, to come out of it, to be born. But like a child that has found beautiful comfort in their mother’s womb, I feel a part of myself afraid to take this leap. But I must, life doesn’t stop just because I feel I am not ready. Whether I think I’m ready or not its happening, and if its happening and I truly believe in divine timing, then its happening exactly as it should be happening, as Mother is needing/designed it to happen. So this feeling is my resistance, this feeling is fear clinging me onto the past. Holding me in seasons that are no longer wanting me to hold on to them. So I let go. I breath. Another lesson of letting go and trusting - Mother is truly making me an expert in this - I trust and take the steps I am needing. I know what I need to do for myself, for this body, to help it thrive in its full expression and health. And though it’s not easy, I trust those that say they got me. I trust Mother because They got me, She is so loud within me, and honestly does not appreciate when I ignore the seeds She has planted within me. But She knows me, and my resistance, and has prepared for this. They also know in my ability to overcome and they don’t rest idly by within me. She sends earthquakes throughout my soul and storms throughout my heart. And as my ancestors say, when it’s thundering outside, you stop and listen because God is talking. So I stop and I listen to the Divine Dark Cosmic Mothers song inside of me. I release and let the contractions of life birth me into this new season.
Birds are chirping outside on the willow tree outside my building. Children are screaming and laughing far out in the distance. Engines are starting and gaining momentum was they go towards their destination. The air cool and light. The sky blue and bright. The sun beckons me to his warmth, “Hello child, won’t you come and play with me, I missed you.” He’s reminding me, sending me images of little me singing to him:
“Oh mister sun, sun, Mr. Golden Sun please shine down on me. Oh mister sun, sun, Mr. Golden Sun hiding behind the tree. These little children are asking you, to please come out so we can play with you. Oh mister sun, sun, Mr. Golden Sun please shine down on me…”
… And like a child, yet again, I’ve been reborn. Hello Spring. Hello New Year
xx Black Dove